I'm a writer who's lucky enough to string words together for award-winning books, magazines, production companies, websites and brands.
I'll take the cue of your eyes still rolling-right (and perhaps upwards) to begin dusting off the trumpet, but if you can't be bothered to read all the dross below, here's the nub:
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I've written one book on my own, contributed to six, written creatively for Channel 4, Hat Trick productions, The Middle Class Handbook, Sleazenation, The Idler, various defunct mags, copywritten for at least 30 brands in virtually every sector, launched a product, fathered a beautiful child, been praised, slated, ignored, and spent many happy hours looking wistfully into the middle distance.
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Here's a mind-numbingly detailed account of what I'm doing right now.
APRIL
Screenwriting is not an art; it's a form of self-harm. Wriggling through mind you, one hair-pulling re-write at a time. Suppose I could always stop, but there's no safe word - once you've got that monkey on your back, he continually pokes your ears and twiddles your nose every monkeying minute. Having said that, I have grown quite attached to the little fella.
MARCH
Mainly walking around swearing at the cold - it's like seasonal Tourette's. Copywriting a few ads to run in The Times and The Guardian for a comms agency, and other projects include penning a fiction script, and a two-part drama about legendary Rock 'n' Rolla, Billy Fury - The British Elvis. Exciting? Uh-huh.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Happy New Year all. I forgot to renew this bless'd domain name so it went right down the google rankings from one to nowheresville. Thing is, I've actually got more work as a result, so there's a case indeed for me to stop blathering on. Consider it done. For now.
DECEMBER
Ate anything static. May as well retreat into one of those confounded 'Oneseys'.
NOVEMBER 2012
The year's end creeps up on us once again like an asthmatic cheetah, and it's nearly C-word time.
As the nights draw in and the hip-flask pops out, you gotta' start making plans for the new year. For me, that means treating myself to some more screenwriting schooling - you can never have enough craft skills in your toolbox. While we're about it, my tutor and script consultant is Guy Meridith, and he's handy with a story. He's here
http://storyguy.co.uk/, if you need your script poking/tweaking/fine-tuning/smashing to pieces and rebuilding.
Good to see that the beautiful little chocolate company - Blowing Dandelion - that I 'worded' is going to be in the Sunday Telegraph magazine on the 2nd Dec. Well done sweet chocolatiers.
The sequel of the sequel to The Middle Class Handbook is now on book shelves. Thanks for the contributor credit too chaps.
An absolutely spot-on gift - just in case you were thinking about C-pressies.
OCTOBER 2012
Launching the website of the new product - Verdant Pod. Consulting about dialogue on a script for a production co in Florida. Finishing some case studies for Radley Yeldar. Belatedly watching Tinker, Tailor, Soildier, Spy and now fully understanding why Gary Oldman is the frickin' nuts*.
*Addendum - since time of writing, I've just seen GO on a blimmin' O2 ad - are there no depths one's heroes will plummet to?
SEPTEMBER 2012
Second print run of TITA to sort - which all seems like a world away from new projects a year on, but you've gotta feed the beast a puppy or two now and again. Oddly, the first print run version has appeared in Waterstone's Picadilly again (I'm not moaning about that of course).
Tangentally to writing (well perhaps a bit skew-whiff as it all involves moving words around for companies) my pet cocoa project - Verdant Pod - cracked its shell on Sunday the 2nd of September at London's Olympia.
We've been lucky enough to snaffle
www.ilovedust.com - the simply brilliant (and maximilist) design agency to be on logo detail. Good to know that their clients range from Nike to Karl Lagerfield, to erm, us.
Look out for these tasty twists on cocoa nibs at a discerning deli near you soon.
Feel free to twitter follow us here - @verdantpod and we'll follow you right back; like a good smell.
AUGUST 2012
The film's the thing. I'm editing a Japanese horror script, developing a comedy feature and getting all serious by writing a drama treatment.
Hark at me.
JULY 2012
Taking a well-earned sabbatical. Between Budapest, Slovakia and a well-angled sun lounger, I've been horizontal whilst re-reading Joseph Campbell's The Hero & The Outlaw for the mythical structure's role in the script I'm getting all gooey about.
Punching ideas around for the electronic launch of the Internet(s): The Annual too.
JUNE 2012
Creating a product and a brand from scratch - just to see how it's done at all stages of the process.
And; copywriting a booklet or two for the brilliant
www.ry.com
MAY 2012
Mainly farting about - hence the off-topic balderdash that's filling these monthly updates (or not).
Just noticed that people are STILL banging on about the importance of the story in brand comms (take note Media Guardian). It's ALWAYS been important - how the hell else are you going to pick out a creative thread? And yes the capitals denote shouting.
APRIL 2012
Getting cheesed off with my inability to change this quite crap google site; it really is just occupying a tiny, grayingly bland part of cyberspace, but you gotta have a presence, right?
Well yes. However, by leaving this floating (non)event horizon, you'll know that all my energy and time go into crafting copy for creative endeavours such as: books, films (short and long), sketches and in helping brands talk clearly to the public and between themselves.
That's me justified - to myself at least.
MARCH 2012
Just been working on a quick, up-and-ready site for Blowing Dandelion Handmade Chocolates. It's all about the personal touch with these bods, and lovely to see top-end personalised chocolate a sumptuous reality:
www.blowingdandelion.co.uk
FEBRUARY 2012
Enjoying plenty of diverse copy activity for Rocksalt, and feeling slightly less mercenary for taking on more charity clients. The latest field trip involves making sticky rice with the Burmese Ambassador (as you do and yes, he is spoiling us) on Saturday. More on that later*
*Update can be seen on the Rocksalt blog:
http://saltandshaky.wordpress.com/
I'm also enjoying the absence of Facebook. You can read about leaving FB in this blog piece; if you've got 5 mins (see that-there salt'n'shaky link above, again).
I'm off to 'The Story' event in London's Conway Hall on the 17th too:
www.thestory.org.uk
Always good to fire the idea's burner.
JANUARY 2012
